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simf2p: Hawai'i, USA - 2003-08-04

101 ways

:: 101 Ways... ::

101. A familiar number wouldn’t you say? What comes to mind when that number is mentioned? Dalmatians’ right? Well the number holds a special meaning here on the Islands as well. The land of sun, surf & bikini’s. Hawaii’s, island of Oahu to be exact. It will also play another significant part, as I will later learn. What other place can you say as soon as you get off the plane you get Lei’ed! To the natives what’s better than a nice set of waves in the afternoon or a Marley concert? SPAM. Yes Spam, not the junk mail classification for this Spam has been around much longer & I believe will have a longevity that will rival my P.B & J. The luncheon meat in that little blue can with the bright yellow name logo. Spam. 101 ways to cook spam as a matter of fact. My first exposure to true local life.
Generally the term “haloes” referred mostly to “white” non-native persons but as I was a “mainlander” even my brown skin an Asian decent failed me as I qualified as one myself. My obvious ignorance to the culture and frame of mind that life’s pace is a little slower the more west and further you are from D.C. and its politics. What will this self-sustaining nation state that was once an integral part in introducing the United States to the world behold for me? Let me count the ways.
For a start the word Aloha means hello and good-bye. Where the minority (Asian’s to be exact) is the majority and white America is the minority. Aloha Friday’s means half day’s work for a full day’s pay makes T.G.I. Friday’s sound a little ordinary. Although weekends still exist here it’s not exactly missed as one can catch a wave then have a cocktail to a steel drum band for lunch. On the darker yet hilarious side the local prostitutes are trilingual and are on the hunt for only tourist Japanese men. An ABC liquor mart at every blocks end. Where a 1-hour drive to the other side of the Island is a dreaded cross-country trip for the locals. Saimin means noodles with Spam served at every Mcky D’s yet food trays are not provided because they serve as a more ingenuous purpose for the kids as boogie boards. The policy of No shirts, No shoes, No service would probably end your business. Where else would every movie in every theatre be sold out every opening week. Every movie. An all night bar hopping event can be followed by a morning wake-up call by seagulls on a beach, no harm, no foul, no memory. Breakfast in the afternoon at Denny’s consist of bacon, eggs, Spam steak and a Mai tai. The local language “pigeon” is about as hard to understand as their sense of being on time for anything. Last but certainly not least, 3 INTERSTATE Highways when your on an Island? .. C'mon In the end, life here has taken its own memorable character. The many differences and learning about them are what makes it most enjoyable. For the many ways that Spam is prepared we all put our pants on one leg at a time. Makes the world although as large as it is a smaller place. 101 ways, How do you like your Spam?

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